Schoolyard Justice

This morning, a rich spring rain, beginning slowly, softly, then transitioning to something more determined, more persistent. The rain and fog dampens the colours blooming into a awakening landscape as a sea breeze dances the as yet only thinly leaved branches.

While it is abundantly spring here on the coast, go far enough inland and spring is still in waiting, the trees mostly bare. Way back in the fifties the Teals wrote influential books about how the seasons change with differences in latitude. They followed autumn down the east coast and spring up the east coast. Maybe not great science but fascinating to this young reader and innovative none-the-less.

Not surprisingly I suppose, I’ve been musing about bullies. I imagine we have all had our encounters with bullies. Being polio disabled I periodically found myself the target of such folk. Often my friends put and end to it, although sometimes they joined in, probably out of self preservation. The guys in the grade above me had been in my class before I was side lined for a year by the polio and quietly intervened on my behalf by simply informing the bullies not to bother me again.

When I did fight back, if I actually won, the bully’s parents inevitably called mine to complain. Perhaps because I was an angry kid (disability and abusive parents does that) my parents always sided with the oppressor, blaming me and telling me not to fight back. I was always confused and saddened, having no idea that my parents would do anything to stay under the radar.

I have a lovely memory from about sixth grade. There were a group of three or four boys who terrorized everyone, regardless of gender, on the playground, being rather indiscriminate about their targets. This went on during recesses and lunch for a large portion of the school year. One warmish spring day they were going about their routine, tormenting one person after another, when for whatever reason a large group of us attacked back.

This unfolded literally at the feet of a couple of teachers who pointedly ignored the bullies’ pleas for help. Everyone got shoves and punches in before the bell abruptly ended recess and everyone trickled back into the school. We heard no more from that gang of thugs.

I occasionally wonder why the teachers did not put a stop to the bullying earlier. That said, we all learned an important lesson: If, eventually, people stand up to bullying, things seldom end well for the bullies.


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8 responses to “Schoolyard Justice”

  1. The only language a bully understands is bully back.

    1. Sadly, I think you are right. I do think that sometimes the most effective way of dealing with too powerful bullies is through what they can’t understand.

  2. My mother used to tell me, when I complained of being bullied, to fight my own battles. I thought it was kind of insensitive at the time, but it turned out to be pretty good advice.

    I always enjoy your posts.

    1. Thank you! I think we sometimes need help with bullies and am not sure parents always get that. Several years ago Vermont instituted a law requiring mandated adults to stop bullying when it is seen or reported. It is not always enforced but made a noticeable difference in the mental health of young people.

  3. I’m sorry you experienced bullying, but am thankful you had friends who stood up for you. I was bullied, too, but no one had my back.

    Your last sentence really resonates with me as it applies to today. We need to stand up to bullies (especially the biggest one of all). I, for one, refuse to be bullied by him or his followers/minions/team. We all need to STAND UP to this man who bullies ruthlessly and relentlessly.

    1. I am sorry no one had your back, that is so painful.
      Yes, standing up to the current bullying is crucial and it seems more and more people and institutions are learning that lesson. We shall see what happens. I recognize and applaud your courage. May others follow your example and have your back.

  4. I was often bullied and unfortunately it taught me not to stand up for myself but to be very good at hiding my feelings – something that I still do today. We never would have told parents or teachers in the fear it would make things worse.

    1. I think my response was more like yours in the end. I have had to work at being assertive with self care and needs. Still a long way to go.

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