Dreaming the World

A cold, wet, windy, raw day. The maples are in bloom as are our cherry and many other trees. Most of the blooms are subtle which is good given the continuing cold and that we are just now in Mid-April and still experiencing sub-freezing temperatures at night.

In spite of all the rain we have received this spring we remain in mild long term drought which does not bode well for the summer as the past few summers have been hot and dry. The long rang forecast is for warmer and somewhat wetter than average conditions for the summer but such optimistic forecasts have not panned out recently. We shall remain hopeful and will see.

Sometimes writing blog posts seems like ceremony. That’s how writing the last post felt so I probably should not have been surprised that quite soon after I posted it a doe and two older fauns showed up in our yard before moving into the field. Even though it was in the middle of the day they stayed around for some time before fading away, probably to nap in the tall grass at the field’s edge. Although those moments of ordinary magic happen often when one does ceremony, they never cease to move and amaze me, reminding me that the world and its creatures are truly engaged and responsive.

When I drum to look into the state of things I quite often receive a clear message that things are just the way they are, and that we are simply seeing nature at work. Being human, I very often want things to be different than they are so to be told things are playing out just as they need to is not always reassuring. After all, from my very human vantage point there is just too much destruction and suffering, and I am both scared and heartbroken.

I may then be reminded that always when we individually or collectively lose balance, life shifts so that balance can be restored. Sometimes balance is restored quickly and sometimes it takes millions of years. At some point in the far future the planet will lose the capacity to support life, then be destroyed by the expanding sun. In the interim, change is going to be the norm whether we like it or not.

Usually I am advised that my grief and despair are also part of inevitable change, and urged to make space both for my feels and for the long view. Then to do what I can. I am often reminded of my teachers’, who experienced far more suffering than me, advice that given the world is as it is, I can only do my best. All too often my best seems like way too little in the face of what appears to be immense evil, but one cannot know how one’s actions may impact the trajectory of events. One can only do one’s best and, as the Bal Shem Tov said, that must be enough.