Coyote’s Purchase

Coyote was walking across the parking lot carrying an immense flat screen t.v.. I watched as she slid it into the back of her van, closed the doors and sauntered casually around to the driver’s door.

At about that time may curiosity got the best of me. Now I knew better, mind you. I knew better, but I asked anyway, “So what’s with the t.v.?”

“Super Bowl’s this evening. We’re having a party. We’ve invited a bunch of family and friends over to watch,” came the reply.

“You BOUGHT THAT?” I asked incredulously. Then, “Your going to watch the Super bowl?”

Coyote looked thoughtful. “Yep. And Yep.” I waited for the explanation. “Saw one of these advertised on the internet. Looked so good we thought we’d buy it. Thought we’d enjoy the panoramic view; it’s like catching the broad sweep of the prairies from atop a high mesa.”

She paused for a moment and continued,”It’ll be like watching a rip snortingly good Western on the big screen.” She drew two six shooters from her belt and began to fire into the air as she danced in glee. “We stocked up on sacred popcorn, too. Ye Ha! ”

I wondered where the security guards were. We clearly needed them.

“I think I’ll root for the Cowboys. I love how they keep their cloths spiffy white all through the game. And, maybe you noticed they somehow manage to keep their ten gallon hats on. It’s truly impressive,”she announced loudly.

I noted the cowboys are not in the Super Bowl this year.

Ignoring me, she continued,”Why, those guys playing tonight are the best of the best. They’re the elite.” Coyote was licking her chops.  “I can vouch for that!”

I waited for more. “Yummm, they sure are good!” She was doing a little jig. “Besides, it’s a good history lesson, so I like the kids to watch.”

I was caught. “A history lesson?” I queried.

“Why of course! It’s Manifest Destiny all over again. Only instead of a taking a few hundred years, it’s all over in about three hours. The commercials are better, too!”

“How do you figure?” I asked.

“It’s obvious. It’s all about who has the best offensive weapons and the deepest team. Ya see, whichever side wins the battle in the trenches is likely to grab the most land. Being under-gunned and under-manned is a real disadvantage. Then you really can’t hold on to your territory long enough to win the game.  Deep strike capability is important, too. The quarterbacks are like field generals, directing their troops on long marches to score  touchdowns. They can also score when their kicker puts the old ball right between the uprights. The team with God on their side will be the winner. They have a big parade and lots of public honors and the other team has to go home to their reservation till next year.”

“I see,” I encouraged.

Coyote smiled a did another wee dance. “I told you, I know the capabilities of those players. They’re the very best.”

She climbed into the driver’s seat of her van, closed the door, then rolled down the window. It was a really chilly day and I was walking quickly to my own car.  “I’m taking the Redskins and six points,” she yelled.

“The Redskins aren’t playing. In fact, they didn’t even make the playoffs,” I pointed out.

“What’d I tell you? See, Manifest Destiny!” she hollered over the parking lot to me. Then she rolled up her window and drove off.